Happy ever after.
Or so the fairy tale goes.
But what if this isn’t a fairy tale?
Maybe, it’s more like this:
The beginning of mistakenly identifying a new thing to blame ourselves or the world for failing to reflect.
The beginning of a brand new life that looks just the same, but makes the old life feel alien.
The beginning of looking back at life to date, without the filter of separation.
The beginning of discovering that from a foundation of love, the triggering of the idea of the separate self into apparent reality does not feel at all pleasant, not even a little bit.
The beginning of recognising just how much conditioning we carry on behalf of the non-existent self.
The beginning of impersonal ownership of the whole.
The beginning of utterly tasting the deliciousness of sadness without self-pity.
The beginning of realising pure anger blows through like a natural storm, not aggressive, not personal.
The beginning of integrating who you are in the universe with who you know yourself to be.
The beginning of knowing that knowing knows only knowing. That the entire universe is simply that knowing, dancing like no one is watching.
Then the living of it.
The gradual erosion of conditioning, as we grow into the knowing of Self. And the noticing of where that conditioning does not dissolve straight back to Source. The openness to healing in all its forms: talk, touch, movement, sound, colour, inner exploration. The openness to helpers: to nutritional coaches, physical trainers, body workers, energy workers, spiritual guides. None to acquire peace, love and freedom, for we are that. But to guide this conditioned life to an ever clearer expression of the same.
Even the wisest among us need friends, companions, supporters and helpers who encourage them to be the best version of themselves. There are those with their hands stretched out in offering. You can turn to them, welcoming the fact that together you will bring to the light every last bit of conditioning towards separation – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. And in the light, that conditioning, that trauma, stands no chance. It’s not a pretty option. There will probably be some ugly crying, some stomping off, some slamming of doors, some outright denial.
I’ve made some amazing friends in this exploration of true nature. There are those that journey alongside me, and those whose paths take them in different directions. People have come to me as clients for a short while and left, I hope, as friends. I’ve met those who have cheered me on during my door slamming moments (and continue to do so); and those who do what one old friend did for his daughter, and simply take the door off its hinges.
I’ve also learned to take support, to recognise where someone has a role in effecting a change, of lifting a weight from us. Why? Because conditioning can linger, and may do damage. A true healer will change the course of a lifetime, whatever their modality. But, I’m very picky with who makes the cut. So, I’d like to introduce to you some of those healers I respect.
Do what is there to be done. And if that is nothing, cool. And if that is recruiting help, equally cool. But don’t think you have to sit forever with an anxiety, distress or aggression that doesn’t shift.
It is indeed all Awareness. Now live it. Dance in the chaotic simplicity of living lightly.