It is brilliant that you saw something differently, that you did something differently, and that your life changed.

But if you are now going to share that something as a way to change other lives, go canny.

Notice that in finding your ‘something’, your seeking to feel better has paused. And in the absence of seeking: happiness.

It would be easy to assume that what you saw or did brought an end to the seeking, insecurity or anxiety. But that’s back-to-front. Actually, it is the pause in seeking, the return to our essence, that gives rise to the new thinking, the new activity.

So, your life changed, and I’m glad for you. I’d even suggest you carry on with whatever appeared to make the difference. For as long as it’s a 100% solution.

The bad news: at some point, this solution will probably let you down. Just as the exciting new boyfriend becomes the husband who never puts the bins out. Either you’ll start to notice it’s not 100%, and eventually you’ll be called to explore why. Or logistics will stop you carrying out the activity. (For example, your health restricts you from the long walks in nature that seemed essential to your well-being.)

The good news: it was never that thing in the first place. That was a happy side effect.

The even-better news: the act of seeking drops away thousands of times a day without you doing a thing. And the opportunity to notice this is permanently available. Infinitely better than a 100% solution to a problem, it removes the label ‘problem’ from whatever looked like it needed fixing. Not as a denial, or a re-framing, or an attempt to bypass reality, but as a matter of course. As a guest on a recent retreat commented: “I came with a really important question. I didn’t get an answer, but the question has simply disappeared.”

I’d suggest going canny in your sharing. Be wary of adding a new seeking to someone’s life. Another ‘something’ required for happiness. Another activity to fail at.

Consider, instead, sharing the happiness you found. Express the love that is our essence. Point inwards, always. And the “how to” will take care of itself.

With Love,

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