Ah, don’t humans love the idea of control? The suggestion that by personal effort we can win at life? The claiming of mastery over certain actions, feelings and thoughts (but not others) as a way to make us safe in the world? The recruiting of others to our faith, so that we feel secure? The need to proclaim a “meant to be”, a silver lining, or the possession of a secret?

It’s all distancing us from life. Distancing us from engaging, Distancing us from showing up fully as who we are. Distancing us from actually feeling all of it.


You are not addicted to drugs, alcohol, porn, sex, control, exercise, food, affection, being looked after, doing the looking after, work, holidays, shopping or admiration.
If anything you are addicted to the sense of lack. To the cycle of pleasure and pain, elation and despair.
But it might be more appropriate to say that sense of lack is addicted to you.


I’m frequently asked to write about the topic of ‘separate realities’.

For the uninitiated, this is the theory that 100% of our experience is a construct of thought, and therefore we live in entirely separate realities.

I’ve started writing maybe 50 times. And each time it became complicated and academic. Which, while interesting to a nerd like me, is merely a diversion.


At the heart of every religion lies an honest recognition that the only ‘salvation’ is the dissolution of the apparent boundaries between the people and God (in whatever way God is understood), until there is no barrier, no division, and the people know they are God. And in this knowing, knowing too is returned to the God it never left.