People come to the nondual teaching for two main reasons. There are those with intellectual curiosity, who simply are intrigued to understand nonduality academically. And those who come with a feeling of having reached the end of the road, that every trick and treat has been used, and their basic experience of life is more distress than grace.
Somewhere, buried in the depths of heartbreak was the invitation to “heart broken open”. The greatest risk. But it glittered boldly, in an otherwise colourless desert. So I followed my star. Heart broken open brings light to the shadows. There’s no place to hide the rough edges, the grime, or the tender underbelly. The light penetrates further and wakes the hibernating beast. Joy, unconditional joy. Here she sits, in the tatters of what was broken, and she loves it all.
Your words are soft and invitingLike warmed towelsYet the glint in your eye says“Back off”The set of your jaw says“Don’t push me”And your hands semaphore“I hurt” I feel my spikes come outAnd I curl to protectMy tender places from youBack offDon’t push meI hurt This is my rough edgeCan I stay open, stay putUntil your eyes, your jawAnd your handsEcho your words?
What if Awareness knowing only Awareness were not the end, but rather the beginning of a magical exploration?
There was a little stab of pain, when I saw you’d blocked me on that social media platform dedicated to unobtainable images. Then, the recognition that this is your weapon, and it works, because I hurt. Are you happy now?
There is medicine to swallow, mark my words. There’s a red pill. And there’s a blue pill. Choose wisely.
What happened to the simplicity of living it all, feeling it all, playing, learning, crying, laughing, shouting, running, being deeply serious about something of no consequence, creating for no reason beyond the joy of creation, collecting rocks (that hadn’t been mined, cut and polished at great expense), and rolling down grassy hills?
We love you. We’re know this is tough. And we’re sorry. But it is vital that you know this distress. That you know the pits of despair. As a healer, you must walk the dark path. This is the harshest calling. To return to the shadows, over and over. To forget, to feel abandoned. And to discover yourself, over and over. You will remember why. Just know we’re no distance away. We would wipe your tears if we could. We need you to find the way back home, again and again. You light the way for everyone. We love you.
If you’re a hot mess, if you’re just holding on today, I’m with you.
How much more radical a statement can any of us make than “I’m happy”?